On the Topic of Money

Alison says:

The advantages of living on a boat is that we save money, get to live simple lives and share the rewards. This month we shared the rewards with my kids. I know that I have put myself on the boat for an extra month with my Christmas gifts to them, but it was nice to be able to send along some cash to help them get a couple of gifts they wouldn’t have been able to buy on their own anytime soon.

Kurt and I locked up the boat, filled the cat feeder with enough food and water to last two weeks and drove to my daughter's in North Carolina. To be clear, she was offered a Christmas adventure on the fine boat, Elizabeth, but declined. No surprise. So after celebrating Christmas with Amy, Josh and my friend from JMU(!), Kurt and I took the coastal route home via ferry through Ocracoke Island and on to Cape Hatteras. It was on Ocracoke that we found the perfect example of what I am looking for in our "Grandma" house. 

It is this kind of front porch that I envision sitting on when my grandkids or granddogs come to visit. Kurt will be out back in his shed, building another boat/shelf/table and I'll be doing whatever it is I do in my free time. I see myself sitting on more of a porch swing or couchy bench, but the rocking chair is nice. This particular house may be the Sears bungalow known as the Sheridan. Sears houses are littered all around Arlington and I love them. They were sold in the early to mid-1900's as plans to build or as kits with precut materials to assemble yourself. My understanding is they are centered near former railroad depots as that is how the materials were delivered. My love for this style of house is enough to stay on this boat for as long as it takes to either find property on which to build something like this or to find a bungalow already built and in need to tender loving care. 

As sweet as Ocracoke Island is, it's just too far from anything to look into buying this particular one, and the fact that is wasn't even for sale made walking away from it that much easier. The Chesapeake Bay doesn't have beaches like the Outer Banks in North Carolina, but if I am going to afford this and retire in a timely fashion, I am staying close enough to my current employer. There is too much invested in my retirement to play around this late in the game. Kurt remains flexible, as always.

Which leads back to the topic of money. 

I firmly hold the value that money is meant to be spent. 

I was raised by one very frugal parent and another parent who taught us to “spend quick before you run out”. Seems the latter is my preferred way of being which is why boat living seems to be my best option. It's why my inheritance was spent on renovating my house and raising my children outside of my means. It's why the proceeds from the sale of that house financed the start up of my acting career, paid off all my debt and saved two of my children a little bit on college loans.

Money, like politics and religion, is a hard thing to talk about and I try to avoid it. I’m not sure these sentences will be published, but it’s the core of this adventure. Money. Its value. Its purpose. My value and my purpose. Kurt’s value and his purpose. Part of what I fell in love with was Kurt's very deep conviction that money is not the goal. People and this earth are the goal. He has lived his adult life consistently living with this ethic. As for me, I am still working out my relationship with money, I think. But I chose Kurt knowing full well that it will be a life lived out loud. There will be no ulterior motive. He told our families at our wedding that our home will always be a safe place for anyone to land. We hadn’t discussed that ahead of time and it surprised me to tears as he made that declaration. And that’s really all that matters. We both work in jobs that we value. Jobs that help to make the world a better place. We could have chosen differently, but we didn’t. We mean this. 

We both make far less money than our relatives and childhood friends who chose other career paths. But we like knowing that there are a couple of kids out there whose lives are better because we opened up a path of understanding useful to them.

Somewhere on the internet is a meme that equates the hoarding of newspapers with the hoarding of money. One hoarder is considered mentally ill, the other hoarder is considered brilliant. That was a new and interesting concept to me. I know that I have judged others and myself fiercely for not having enough money or handling it more wisely. But I also don’t understand why people spend so much of their energy, life and health trying to save and build a portfolio that could carry them generations into the future. I am all for people who use their time and talents and gold to help others or clean up messes. On the other hand, I am completely confused by folks who seem to need to show that they have greater personal value as their financial accounts increase. 

In another life, I was witness to a love, not Kurt, who lost a ton in the stock market crash of 2008. He was devastated as he tried to explain how much money he lost in one day. I was sincerely amused as I patiently explained to him,  “It’s all Monopoly money until you sell anyhow. So, no, you really didn’t lose money, you lost the perception of money.” My former love patted my head for not understanding the complex ways of the grown-up financial world. I understood then and I understand now, it’s an invented value system I don’t buy into. It's why I don't spend my time and talent trying to learn the system. Maybe I'm an idiot for judging improperly. Too bad for me, maybe.

**A quick thanks to the oil industry for producing an abundance of oil, so gas prices are not breaking our bank. AND a quick shout out to Wawa's consistent stocking of the Smartfood popcorn. And to their new grilled cheese panini! It's kind of like fast food, but the burnt cheese on the edges makes traveling so much more pleasant! 

Happy New Year to all. May we all live our lives as we damn well see fit so long as it doesn't hurt the earth or others!

Kurt Says:

Alison told me I wasn't allowed to read her post on "money" until I commented on it myself. Money, sigh. 

Choosing philosophy as my primary major in college probably sealed the deal -- I have never been interested in pursuing money. It is a means to an end; the end being living a fully human life here, in this place, and now at this time. Money is necessary, of course, but its acquisition is not, I think, a worthy goal in itself.

Living Simply:

Part of living a fully responsible human life on this fragile little blue ball is the commitment to live simply, to consume as little as possible and be very clear about the distinction between what is needed and what is wanted. "Live simply so that others may simply live" has been a guiding principal of my life. I chose a life of voluntary poverty and for the first 20 years of my adulthood I lived on less than taxable income, i.e. significantly under $6000 annually. Spending a decade working with children and families living in extreme poverty taught me how to do this with dignity and pride and they really showed me that money, though a cause of great stress, is nonetheless important. At least enough to cover the basics.

Retirement:

There comes a time when living simply, choosing a life of voluntary poverty, and the realization that one is not going to die young collide. It is called retirement. Sadly, while I have been working constantly since I was thirteen years old I have no savings, and no retirement other than social security. So in 2004, at the ripe age of forty, I decided it was time to settle down and make some money. Unfortunately, not having it in me to pursue money as an overriding goal, I found employment with the local public school system. Not much money there but the work was meaningful and there was a retirement package. Today I earn the national median income, the first time I have ever had a living wage. It does not leave much room for extras but I can afford to pursue my love of photography and pay the basic bills. I will work this job until I retire, they fire me, or something significantly better comes along.